The Neat Front Yard

Sure, you nearly threw out your back putting in those rosebushes, and you almost lopped off your thumb building that white picket fence, and you’re stuck spending every Sunday morning pushing a rusty old lawnmower through the yard, picking grass clippings off your shoes. But unlike some people (we won’t mention any names, 408 Wallace St.) you don’t have a yard overrun with jungle-style grass and sunflower-sized dandelions and enough lawn gnomes to take over a small country. Sheesh.

It’s good to be better than everyone else.